Money is not something that is typically discussed in polite society. This is a lesson that we have learned since we were quite young. This is why it can often be difficult for couples to converse about their financial situation with one another. There is a certain level of awkwardness when attempting to broach this subject.
This is particularly true, if spouses are in a rocky fiscal situation. These type of conversations can typically lead to a lot of arguing and hurt feelings. There have been many situations where a difficult financial state has resulted in people hiring a Phoenix divorce attorney and dissolving the marriage. There are certain methods you can use to approach this particular topic. Here are some tips on how you can talk to your partner about your finances:
Be Non-Judgmental
We all have our own code that we abide by, similarly, we all handle our finances in our own way. This is why, when you first begin talking about each other’s economic situation, it is important to be open-minded. Each of you will be unable to understand or work things out with one another if you are too busy judging your partner. This is why you must listen to your spouse with no judgment and ask that they too reserve their opinions until later.
This allows for an open and honest conversation to take place. It is the first and the most important step in this journey together. A frank dialogue also allows to keep emotional outbursts to a minimum. There is no reason for either spouse to get upset if they do not feel as though they are under attack.
Take a Break
Talking about finances, particularly unsatisfactory situations, can get quite frustrating. A seemingly unsolvable problem can often reduce both parties to tears or tantrums. It is quite normal to want to vent your anger about your condition. It is important to remember, to not take this anger out on your spouse.
When you feel as though either one of you is reaching a breaking point, you should call a recess. This gives both of you the opportunity to calm. A break prevents escalation of emotions and also provides a reprieve for both parties from the stressful conversation. If you feel there was very little progress made with your discussion, wait until later or the next day to resume the talk. Sometimes, a little space and breathing room provides clarity.
What’s Important
It is easy to get side-tracked, especially with a volatile and depressing topic as money. It is imperative that you still maintain your perspective of what is truly important. Your current financial situation is just that: current. This particular state can be changed with a little bit of effort.
Your marriage, however, is not so easily fixed. This is why it is important to not let finances destroy your union. Together, you can overcome this obstacles but first you must remain united. Work together, side by side to elevate your position and you may find your marriage is stronger than ever.
Talking about finances may not be the most pleasant topic of discussion. It is, however, an important talk to have with your spouse. These guidelines will make it a calmer and more peaceful process.
2 comments
Being non-judgmental is a big point.
This stresses the impotence of couples being on the same page with finances prior to marriage. Understandably, there may be times when a life-event type financial decision will come where there may be two decidedly different thoughts. Being open-minded to the other person and being open to comprise can go a long way.
When I talk to my wife, I ready my ears to any of what she’s gonna say. I also consider and weigh every information. Then, when I make a decision, I make sure that it is the best decision for both party. If there’s still some unclear areas, we tend to talk it over until we reach a consensus.