When things turn out the way you want them to

SO–we finally heard back about Eric’s job interview that I was freaking out about…drumroll please…..

He didn’t get it.

Techinically I should be feeling like this:

Considering how getting a firefighter job has been our goal for the entirety of our marriage, you’d think I’d be really upset about another “Thanks, but no thanks” letter. But in reality, I was feeling like this:

Let me explain.

Eric had a Chief’s Interview, which is the final interview before being presented with a conditional job offer. For this particular position, he had beaten 500 other candidates to land one of the 12 spots that got a Chief’s Interview. I believe, about four out of those 12 were offered a position.

This was the same fire department that he had had an interview for last year. This was the same job, that just a year ago, we had prayed and prayed for. But this time, it was different.

I didn’t want him to get the job because it was 300 miles away, and because I knew that deep down, I don’t want a long distance marriage and it isn’t worth the money.

Last year, of course I wanted him to get the job! We were living in a shack. Eric was in the academy and he wasn’t working. I was beyond frustrated with our situation and would have given anything to get out of it–even if that meant living apart, I didn’t care, I was so over being poor.

But this year, we are so much happier. I love our little house. We have savings, we have been able to travel, we’re going out more and living a better life. Screw all that crap from other personal finance blogs about lifestyle inflation. Sometimes, Most of the time, lifestyle inflation will make you happier, as long as you can afford it and not have to worry about how you’re going to pay for it every month.

So when I wrote about how heavily this was weighing on me, it was really me saying–I know Eric wants the firefighter job, but I don’t want to risk our marriage over it. The point of marriage isn’t to live 300 miles apart, is it?

So I prayed and prayed, and simply asked that the right solution present itself. I didn’t pray that he wouldn’t get the job–I simply prayed for the right job.

Last week, Eric had three other interviews. I am hoping one of those pans out as well. But I am done letting this stuff stress me out. I don’t let myself get excited anymore or bummed out. I know that–just like my job situation two years ago–that the right opportunity will present itself to us at the right time.

For now, I am enjoying where we are right now. And I am happy to report that Eric is FINALLY full-time at his job. Steady paychecks make me one happy girl!