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Becoming friends with your ex’s wife

by Erika Torres
25 comments

I like to live vicariously through other people’s weddings. Since Eric and I didn’t have a big wedding, I like to take advantage of the people who can afford large weddings. You get to enjoy all the beauty and fun of it without having to pay the bill or feeling the pressure of making sure everything is perfect. It’s a win-win, in my opinion.

This weekend, we got to enjoy this breathtaking scene:

And to just show you what a little hair and make up can do to you, here are my before and afters:

I spent $45 to rent my dress from Rent the Runway. LOVE! I figured it would be better to just rent a really nice dress rather than buy a semi-decent dress that I probably wouldn’t wear again (because everyone knows you can’t wear the same dress to a wedding twice! That’s what happens when your same group of friends all go to the same weddings 😛 )

So you know who else was at this wedding? My ex–some of you may remember him as Church Boy.

Here is a quick recap: Eric and I first got in contact in late November through email when he found my old blog. I had broken up with my ex in early November. About four months later, Eric and I were married. I actually received a phone call from this ex when he found out Eric and I were getting married–he had a lot of questions, mainly “how could you be getting married so quickly?” It was valid.

Anyway, this ex remained friends with my group of friends and we’ve run into each other at mutual friends’ parties. However, alcohol was never really involved, and the interactions between me and him and me and his wife were limited at best.

But the best part of weddings is the Open Bar. Seriously people, do everything possible to get the alcohol flowing because those are the BEST weddings.

Well, the alcohol was definitely flowing at this party. And pretty soon, Eric and I found ourselves conversing nonstop with this ex and his wife. And the really really crazy part? I really, really liked her! And Eric really really liked my ex. I mean, we were hanging out together the entire night.

The irony never really left me. I know I have a pretty firm and traditional stance on being friends with exes, that most people my age wouldn’t agree with. And while we probably won’t be going on any double dates anytime soon, I actually do look forward to the next time we get to hang out at a mutual get-together.

And yes, his wife has friended me on Facebook. So while I may not be friends with my ex on Facebook, I am definitely now friends on Facebook with his wife. Which just goes to show that you should never say never to any situation.

p.s. don’t forget to enter the batcrap crazy giveaway for Zaggora HotPants! They look amazing!

25 comments

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Replica rolex watches August 19, 2012 - 12:27 am

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Carrie August 18, 2012 - 11:49 am

LOL I loved this post! And wow, what a beautiful pic of you guys! I just recently went to a wedding attended by my man’s ex, and trust me, things can definately NOT turn out as good for everyone in that situation! Funny that you are friends with her now on Facebook! Funny when you start out not wanting to like someone for some reason, but you just have to because they’re so nice! It makes you look better too, instead of being rude to her. I look forward to reading more on your blog, we’re living on a budget too! Best of luck! 🙂
Carrie

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Weekly Favorites, Gratitude, and Giveaways #79 | Budgeting In the Fun Stuff August 18, 2012 - 4:01 am

[…] on a Budget with Becoming friends with your ex’s wife  I don’t see anything wrong with this.  I’ve only met one of my ex’s wives […]

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Savvy Scot August 17, 2012 - 3:24 am

Woahh good effort on this! It is strange how things pan out, but I just couldn’t see myself managing this!

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Emily @ evolvingPF August 16, 2012 - 7:28 am

I’m friends with the wife of my only ex-boyfriend who is married. Actually, I’m probably better friends with her than I am with him! I don’t think this is a big deal. It shows maturity. As long as you are keeping your marriage your priority, it’s fine to be friends with whomever.

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Babybluewater August 14, 2012 - 8:49 am

You look beautiful! Thanks for the info on Rent the Runway. I hadn’t heard of it before. What a great idea 🙂

I’m glad you had fun and got along with the Ex and his wife. That’s really the best case scenario!

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Cassi August 11, 2012 - 4:26 pm

I think Rent the Runway is such a cool idea. I have looked into renting a dress, but I wasn’t sure if it was worth it! Glad to here that you liked it. Also, nice pictures!

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Elizabeth @ Broke Professionals August 11, 2012 - 4:59 am

OK, first off, you look AMAZING in that dress! And I love RTR too…

Second, my ex (my high school sweetheart; we dated for three years and broke up in a very “Legally Blonde” moment at my cousin’s wedding when I was 20) is now my daughter’s Godfather – his mother is my daughter’s Godmother. Needless to say, we’ve stayed BEYOND close, and he’s one of my husband’s best friend’s too (my husband will actually be in his wedding in a few months).

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Teacher Girl August 8, 2012 - 9:21 pm

You and Eric look amazing!! It is funny how life works out. I say that if you guys get along so well, there is no reason you can’t hang out again, especially in a group of couples. Making friends at our age is such a hard thing to do. It would be a shame to not be friends.

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Daisy August 8, 2012 - 7:38 am

First of all – you’re beautiful! Secondly, the boy and I don’t really have exes because we started dating at 18 (me) and 21 (him). But that’s definitely a unique situation. I would think it would be awkward but you proved that theory wrong.

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Jordann @ My Alternate Life August 8, 2012 - 7:33 am

I definitely agree that the best weddings are the ones with plenty of alcohol. My wedding is going to be held at a family member’s house. We’re providing about 70 bottles of wine and several hundred bottles of beer – all home made, and then the guests are welcome to bring their own on top of that, should be a good time!

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Lea August 7, 2012 - 6:51 am

You look amazing! I wish we could get Rent the Runway in Canada.

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shannon August 7, 2012 - 3:56 am

Church boy of all people! I remember him. That is too funny. And you look great in that dress!

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Rob August 7, 2012 - 2:55 am

Great post, vey entertaining!!!

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Debt and the Girl August 6, 2012 - 2:58 pm

Haha. Yes, alcohol is def. the fastest way to loosen the party up. Glad you were able to have some fun. I don’t know what I would do in that situation. I am very much not into hagning out with ex’s mostly becuase I don’t see much of a point. I did have a similar situation at a wedding but I totally just ignored my ex and his date all night. There wasn’t a lot of alchohol though. 🙂

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Michelle August 6, 2012 - 1:45 pm

That is great! And I love your dress. You look gorgeous in your pictures 🙂

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CeCe @Frugalista Married August 6, 2012 - 1:27 pm

Love the Rent the Runway idea. I’ll have to remember that for the company holiday party. You look great! I have a wedding this weekend and the last one I went to was my own two years ago so it’s about time!! Can’t wait. I think that if people just act their age; like mature and reasonable adults then there is no reason that exes can’t get along or at the very least be cordial and friendly towards each other in social situations. So that’s cool that you all got along just fine. You all have moved on so there is no reason to act any other way-I just wish more people would realize that. I went back and read your Ex’s and FB post. It’s all over the map as far as what people think. I have only had two exes in my life (what can I say…late bloomer!!) and I am friends with my 2nd ex on FB and don’t anticipate any issues as long as there is trust and we act like reasonable adults-which we do. The first Ex…eh too much went down and we weren’t friends first so if we’re not together I don’t see the point.

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SavvyFinancialLatina August 6, 2012 - 1:15 pm

Your better than me…I couldn’t talk to my ex lol…let alone my hubby.

You look amazing!!!!

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jobo August 6, 2012 - 1:09 pm

Ha! I LOVE this!! What a riot, and actually, so awesome, since you share some of the same friends! And I LOVE THAT DRESS! What an awesome idea 😉 you two are such a hot couple! miss you guys!

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shanendoah August 6, 2012 - 12:43 pm

Read this comment knowing that my most recent ex had C and I over for dinner on one of our first dates and that another ex was Best Man at our wedding.

I think it’s fabulous you and the ex’s wife get along- and also that Eric and the ex got along. I am also not surprised in the least. Unless Eric is the complete opposite of the ex, my guess is that you dated them both for similar reasons, even though one didn’t work out. Same with the ex and his new wife.
If people can get over the fact that two of you were together and now you’re each with other people, these can be great relationships.

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Mo' Money Mo' Houses August 6, 2012 - 11:20 am

That’s so great that you all got along, I know form passed experiences it’s not easy being friends or even friendly with exes and their new partners. I’m gonna have to look into that rent the runway thing, what a great idea!

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Army Amy* August 6, 2012 - 9:59 am

Wow! What a beautiful spot for a wedding! And I love your dress!

It’s good that you and your ex get along. The worst thing is when people have a messy break-up and are vindictive, and even years later they treat each other poorly. I guess it just depends on the circumstances of the break-up. My parents have been divorced for about 7 years, and I think it took 5 years before everyone was able to agree that things are better now than before the divorce. But my big brother and my mom still don’t talk to my dad.*

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Lisa @ Lisa the Vegetarian August 6, 2012 - 9:51 am

I think it’s very cool that you were able to become friends with your ex’s wife! I’ve only successfully been able to stay friends with an ex once (and now he’s one of my best friends), but none of my exes are married yet (that i know of), so I have no idea how I would react in this kind of situation.

Love the dress and the shoes, by the way!

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justrealhappy August 6, 2012 - 9:50 am

Erika…you look so pretty! I’m glad you had fun! And with Church Boy, of all people. 🙂

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